Sunday, 1 April 2018

An Endless Summer Afternoon.

Three things defined one of the most gruelling and tumultuous times of my life - a boy, a friend and the weather.

Let's start with the boy who feels like a humid three p.m. memory when you can see the sun baking plants to death. He started off interesting, different, funny and he made me want to do better. He made me want to mould myself into the person that I thought I needed to be to earn his affection and alas, I had lost it the second the clock hit six and the sky turned to a bluish purple. I could have built a city with the amount of time I spent wondering why I wasn't good enough for him, especially considering that everyone around me told me that I was too good for him. This juxtaposition and an endless stream of sunshine drama made me want to rip my skin off simply to relieve the heat. It felt like the acidity in your stomach when you've had too much coffee and haven't eaten anything other than strawberry gum, it makes you nervous, excited and soon you crash hard. A welcome gust of wind cools the sweat dripping down my back and I take refuge in realising that I liked him far more than he ever liked me.  

A friend as promising as perfectly shaped white clouds on a clear blue sky as you sit on a hilltop and watch dawn break. The friend understands and hugs you when the world is rude and the second you turn around, she shoves a middle finger towards anyone who dares try to hurt you again. She'll be your eating buddy, workout buddy, trash-talking buddy, arguing about cosmetic surgery buddy, your indecisive buddy, your study buddy and soon enough, your 'I think you're my best friend' buddy. This friend doesn't feel violent like summer does, she's comfortable like spring and it's almost worrisome how much you've begun to depend on someone who you've only known for a year. It's early morning or late evening and the atmosphere isn't as hysterical as you know it will be in an hour or two.

The weather shifts from bearable to blistering heat to bearable to the harsh cold to bearable to 'how has my skin not melted off into a plunge pool yet?' to bearable to 'there are literally icicles encircling my toes'. The weathers fluid and my sixteen-year-old emotions accompany it on a ride that I have no control of. I'm angry, passionate and exploding like the sun and the next second I'm under the pretence of being self-actualised and calm like a full moon. My study breaks are spent learning about Mercury being in retrograde and comparing constellations to moles on my body. But soon enough the evening fades away into the night and the last two years are compressed into ten question papers that I now use to soak up spilt water.

 It has come full circle and I will never see the afternoon like I did again. The people who have shaped who I am becoming are still around me but have eased up, they now believe that I am capable of walking on my own but I am just as needy as I was before. It is the end of an instrumental era that has taught me every lesson I think I'll need. Humiliation from rejection healed by the love from people who care about me has resulted in me making it through, all the way till here. 

Monday, 26 March 2018

2:56 a.m. on a Tuesday night.

All the time in my life - utilised by circles that I don't want to repeat. The irony is that I am equally responsible for the continuity of it. Its a yes and no game, each time the other person not willing to forgive because they're busy healing their bruised ego. The onset of summer every year, accompanied by mutual annoyance and frustration.  I’m older, fractionally wiser and that too in my ability to solve quadratic equations and in no way wiser in the matters of the heart. In fact, I think my intelligence in that sphere has deteriorated for lack of practice and daily use. Last night was quite a sight. Me tripping over my shoes in the darkness trying to reach the buzzing phone that I had placed at the other end of the bedroom. It was one thirty in the morning and I had fallen asleep watching the season finale of The Bachelorette sometime around ten.

 My phone was spammed with messages that he had sent me being his usual awkward, deflective and victimised self, demanding to know why I had regrettably texted him one night two days ago. This casual text was a simple ‘you up’? followed by immediate self-loathing. I deleted the text seconds after I had sent it but my lack of tech savvy resulted in me deleting the text only for myself and not him. I buried myself under the covers and cursed myself for making decisions past eleven p.m. The next morning to my horror, he had seen the text and replied. I was mortified and embarrassed for stupid reasons unknown to me and him. My brilliant plan was to avoid his casual reply until the end of time. This plan was cut short by the buzzing from my phone that I started the story with. His imagination had run wild and he was desperate know why I had texted him and began to believe that I had to tell him something incredibly important. I didn't. I didn't need to say anything, at all. In fact, my mind was still reeling from a dream that I was having about Danearys Targaryen. 
I responded to his texts and before I knew it, I was forty-five minutes into a conversation with him, sitting cross-legged on my bed and being too angry and tired to care about the atrocious speling mistaekes I was making. For as shy, immature and awkward as he is, he is better at emotional manipulation than anyone I have ever met. Too good, sometimes it makes me wonder whether Netflix will release a documentary about psychopaths in the making ten years down the line and mention him. What was supposed to be a conversation about apology and forgiveness had now turned into a full caps recollection of every horrible thing we have done to each other. 

You may already think that this seems too much to handle in forty-five minutes in a half asleep state but just you wait. Behold, five minutes later he confesses that he might still like me, a minute later - he likes me but not enough to date me, two minutes later - he likes me and has liked me through another girl that he was seeing, three minutes later - whatever feelings he has had for me have disappeared like a newly freed bird and finally, five minutes later I am miraculously and all at once blocked by him. I can't help myself, it's almost three a.m. and his profile picture has disappeared and I begin to genuinely and whole-heartedly laugh. The kind of laugh that one has once every week when you realise that the world is too funny to be cruel. So I pushed my phone aside, tried to ignore the mosquito buzzing around my ear and feel asleep dreading my alarm set for two and a half hours later.

Monday, 2 January 2017

A Roundup of 10 Top Blogging & Instagramming Tips of 2016.

2016 has been a year of blogging for me. The greatest things that happened to me this year were in the sphere of blogging. I got my first sponsorship, got invited on a press trip to Bali, figured out how f***ing hard it is to manage school and blogging, got a promo code of my name, hit follower goals and overall just created a lot of content. Wanderlustric is my happy place, it's the little world that I control and it genuinely means so much to me that  you stick around and you do leave comments and send me emails. So thank you. I'll always appreciate every single one of you. 

1. If you're feeling uninspired, look back at your content. 

I know that you would think if you're feeling uninspired you should browse a couple of other blogs and Instagram accounts just to get ideas flowing however I've realised that its much better to just look back at your old content and what got you inspired in the first place. For me thats stories, travel, nature and day to day people. These are the things that fascinate me and these are the origins of all my content. 

2. Unsplash

Unsplash is a photo sharing website where you can also use other people's images for free. It's genuinely where half of my blog post ideas come from, you could see a picture of two friends travelling and write a post on 30 best places to travel to with your best friend or see a picture of a concert and write about the best festivals categorised according to continents. The pictures are endless therefore the ideas that can spawn from them are endless.

3. The way to get ahead is to get started.

It's simple.

4. There has to be a balance between quantity & quality.

I'm genuinely sick of seeing articles debating on whether quality > quantity or quality < quantity. I think that there has to be a balance but the balance should be leaning towards quantity, simply for one reason. This reason is that if you focus too much on quality you'll end up posting once in 8 months. The best quality would be closest to perfection and perfection in the creative world is a useless and meaningless word.
I'm not saying post shit articles 7 times a day but the reason I would move towards quantity more is because you can always improve on quality as time progresses and you'll never fully be satisfied.

5. You already have the tools you need.

I used to think that if I got a MacBook I would be able to become an amazing blogger but the fact is that as long as you have a semi-working source to create from, you can do it. Now that I have a MacBook I can appreciate how much easier it is but the fact is that you can do it from whatever you have. Don't wait for certain scenarios to occur in your life, build yourself up to them so that when the moment arises you'll be prepared.

6.  It's imperative to disconnect.

Take a trip to a deserted cabin in the mountains where there's barely any phone connectivity let alone wifi. We are all human. We all need time away from Snapchat stories, Instagram comments etc., especially as bloggers.

7. The more you post on Instagram, the more followers you'll get.

I know, it's easier said than done but it does work. The ultimate proof is Chiara Ferragni.

8.  Casey Neistat will always work as motivation.

For days when you've got a million different things to do and it's imperative that they're done by a certain time but all you really find yourself doing is watching Netflix and eating, watch Casey Neistat. I've spoken about him before therefore I won't go into further detail but literally all you have to do to get yourself out of a slump is to watch this, this & this.

9. Facebook groups are a great way to find bloggers to collaborate with.

Join as many Facebook groups that centre around your niche as you can, you'll be flooded with opportunities.

10. Maintain your strive.

Blogging isn't easy, it is a full time job. But if you enjoy it as much as I do, you'll love the late nights and sore eyes.

Once again, thank you for sticking around. Here's to a year of fun, happiness and productivity!

Have an extraordinary year,

Mahika x

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